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  “Hybrid?” she asked.

  Hawk tipped his head, not willing to commit. “Something.”

  Danny clenched his teeth and held onto Amanda a little tighter than he wanted to. The first time he’d been through decon, Sky had done her best to soothe him, and Hawk’s emergency had pulled him out of the memory rather than pushed him into it. Even knowing what to expect, it seemed worse this time around. The air was more humid, and the room hotter. Shocks of electricity kept pulsing through his body.

  A doctor entered the room, introducing herself as Clarke, before preparing to move Corin for healing. Hawk refused to leave Corin’s side and went along with them, along with Fisher, Sky, and Michael. Danny, Amanda, and Tommy followed Ian and Dr. Chelsea Granger (the neurologist Granger) to a different building for Amanda’s treatment. In the past hour, they had met several people, but they all looked the same and their names sounded frustratingly similar. There were an equal number of Schons and Grangers, and a smattering of Clarkes. No matter where he looked in the building, he saw the same three faces.

  “Neuroleptic remapping is a manner of taking hold of one’s nerves and dissolving the neural pathways that feed the psychosis,” Chelsea lectured, calling up a hologram in the meeting room they’d stopped in. The room had a circular table, and images of neurological maps and checklists on the wall. The soft blue light soothed Danny’s nerves, and the sturdy chair seemed to hug his body. Ian and Chelsea sat at the table, and Amanda stood behind Danny’s chair, her hands resting on his shoulders.

  “We need to do a proper brain scan before we make any promises,” Ian said.

  “Yes, the image you sent last night is laughable,” Chelsea said, calling up a fuzzy scan with Oriana’s data stamp on it.

  “You sent a message?” Danny asked, sitting straighter. “It’s possible to send messages in and out of the city?”

  “Yes,” Ian sneered. “We’re cloaked, but we still exist.”

  “Our comm technology gets blocked when we pass through the shield,” Danny said. “It would be great if I could talk to my crew.”

  “Let me see what you have,” Ian said, holding out her hand for Danny’s Virp. Danny slid the device from his glove and handed it over.

  “Ian, now isn’t the time,” Chelsea complained.

  “It’ll take at least a week to get her baselined. I can’t do anything until you do your part,” Ian said, studying the device. Tommy loomed over her shoulder, watching curiously. Then his shadow dared to touch her light.

  “Why are you hanging over me?” Ian snarled.

  “I’m learning,” Tommy whispered. “Isabelle used to let me watch.”

  The mention of her dead sister hit Ian like a truck. “I’m not Isabelle. Get out of here. Worthless rat!”

  “Hey!” Danny protested. Tommy ran from the room, and Danny’s anger boiled. “Why did you do that?”

  Ian threw his Virp on the table and stalked out a different door. Danny debated chasing Tommy, but Amanda gripped his arm. Chelsea stayed at the table, looking at her notes as if nothing had happened.

  “It’s a Cooper flaw,” Chelsea said when she noticed them staring at her. “It’s best to let her blow off steam and come back when she’s calm. But Ian is correct. We don’t need her for this phase.”

  “What’s involved in baselining?” Amanda asked, taking her seat.

  “A series of virtual scenarios will be presented to help us understand how your brain works and what triggers your episodes,” Chelsea said. “I’m afraid that means discontinuing your current line of treatment.”

  Danny’s jaw dropped, and his stomach knotted.

  “No,” Amanda said, panic rising. “I’ll… what if I hurt someone?”

  “We cannot fix the foundation if we can’t find the cracks,” Chelsea quoted, like it was nothing to worry about. “Antipsychotics are a treatment, not a cure, so you would always need them in supply.”

  Amanda shook her head, and Danny sat next to her, trying to focus on calming her, but he’d barely managed to calm himself. “You wouldn’t have to worry about being triggered.”

  “What about my… my other skills?” Amanda asked. What if she lost her connection to the spirit realm? Danny thought it might be a good thing. She wouldn’t be echoing hybrids, catching thoughts and premonitions that she couldn’t process.

  “We baseline your skills as well so we can be certain not to erase them. We should actually start with that since you’re lucid,” Chelsea said, sliding a slender device across the table to Amanda. “Lean your head forward.”

  Amanda picked up the device, but Chelsea pushed it back on the table. Then she activated the scanner and leaned her head forward. “Like this. It takes a picture.”

  She leaned back a moment later, and the hologram in the middle of the table flickered. Danny assumed it was a picture of her brain, but it looked the same as the one that had been there before.

  “Have you ever mapped Tommy? Or Michael?” Amanda asked.

  “I’m not involved in their treatment, but yes, they have both been in the NR machine at various times,” Chelsea allowed. She positioned the scanner again. “Lean forward.”

  Amanda shook her head. “I’m not ready. Danny, I’m not ready. I want Tommy to come back.”

  “He can’t operate the machine,” Chelsea said.

  “But he’s not paper,” Amanda said.

  14

  Hawk fidgeted as he came down the front steps of the genetics building, his body itching all over. Yesterday, he’d been frustrated that his reaction to the Shenna lotion kept him from jumping right in to meet Jack Fisher’s team, but in retrospect, he was glad he’d had a day to familiarize himself with the Cordovan culture. And after three hours in the lab, he was desperate for a break.

  The geneticists were scary in their politeness. They seemed to think as a collective, never talking over each other, but completing each other’s sentences and passing the conversation around with eerily little effort.

  Less than three minutes after his arrival at the lab, they had asked for a sperm sample and they’d been prepared to extract with a needle before he realized what was going on and assured them he could easily extract it on his own. Then he’d spent nearly an hour arguing about his need for privacy while doing so. There weren’t a lot of private places in the genetics lab, and even when he’d locked himself in a bathroom, he heard them whispering outside the door. Hawk hadn’t felt so disgusting since his first breeding appointment in Rocan. The past few months of freedom had led him to hope these kinds of situations were behind him, but they kept cropping up.

  He turned his wrist, looking at the communication bracelet Sky had given him before she left. There didn’t seem to be a button, and he wasn’t sure how to activate it to let Sky know he was out. Even if the people there weren’t telepathic, the device seemed to operate on that kind of frequency. If he looked with his spirit eyes, he saw sparkles around it. Just like their healing sauna in the Tower, they had spirit power woven into their communication tech.

  He decided to head to the hospital to find Corin but got turned around in the courtyard and wound up at the edge of the monument park. The thought of asking a stranger for directions didn’t appeal, considering how men were treated here. He tapped the comm bracelet again, willing it to send a message to Sky. Then he saw a familiar Fisher slumped against one of the monument pedestals and smiled. He could tell it was Tommy because of the high-neck shirt, and the way it completely failed to hide his broad shoulders.

  “Tommy,” Hawk called, waving as he trotted over.

  Tommy glanced up, startled, then looked down again. His hand clamped down over a bleeding scratch on his arm. His eyes were red, like he’d been crying.

  “Are you all right? What happened to your arm?” Hawk asked, squatting down to check. The cut was thin and long, like a papercut.

  “Michael,” Tommy muttered, using his falsetto voice.

  “Michael? He’s been in the lab with your mom all day,” Hawk
said, sitting on the ground next to Tommy. The grass was soft, but Hawk was still uncomfortable after his day in the lab and his skin started itching again. “Different Michael? Is it a common name in your city?”

  Tommy shook his head and clenched his jaw.

  “Can he hurt you from a distance?” Hawk asked. “Did he cut you? I mean, did he make you cut yourself?”

  Tommy looked down at his arm and shook his head. “I just… I just don’t want to see him hurt. The lab where I work—where I take care of the test subjects—I was reading about his project…”

  He trailed off and looked down at a palm-sized reader on the ground beside him. The screen was dark. Hawk picked up the device and tilted it, but Tommy snatched it away.

  “It’s not public information,” he said.

  “But it upset you,” Hawk said. “It upset you enough that you cut your skin.”

  “I’m not supposed to humanize the test subjects. I’m not supposed to get attached,” he said, his eyes dimming. “Dr. Schon says it’s a Fisher flaw.”

  “It’s not a flaw to see your brother as human,” Hawk said, squirming as the discomfort in his skin spread to his soul. The night before, it seemed clear that Michael was physically weak, and mentally underdeveloped. Amanda’s reaction to him suggested that the weird ambiance he’d felt when they’d gone to the Fisher apartment was probably related to Michael. Back in Quin, Hawk had been captured by a crime boss who had tried to drain him of his power, and he wondered if something similar was happening to Michael. But Fisher had said they hadn’t had hybrids in the dome in generations—that they disappeared with the originals.

  “I don’t know if I can be a biologist,” Tommy said, looking down at his tablet. “I have all the academic degrees, but I don’t know if I can do this kind of research.”

  “I’m sure there are other labs you can work in,” Hawk said. “That’s half the city, right? Working on science?”

  Tommy’s shoulders tensed and he choked out a silent sob.

  “I was heading to the hospital to pick up Corin. You can come with me,” Hawk offered.

  “I don’t need a hospital,” Tommy snapped. He lifted his hand from his arm and checked the cut. The blood smeared on his skin, didn’t stick to his clothes.

  “Can you point me in the right direction? I found you because I’m lost.” He felt bad for Tommy, but it was obvious Tommy didn’t want to talk, and Hawk desperately wanted to get some place with a shower. He showed Tommy his communication device. “Sky gave me this to call her. I don’t know how to use it.”

  Tommy touched the bracelet and Hawk felt pins and needles prickling along his skin. The grimy, untouchable feeling came back.

  “Sorry. I know it feels wrong when I touch you,” Tommy said, pulling his arms to his chest again.

  “You do?” Hawk asked, embarrassed by his reaction. He’d come here with a mission and hadn’t thought anything of how it would be fulfilled. Of course, his vague description of the Malady wouldn’t be enough for a foreign doctor to prescribe a life-saving treatment. It wasn’t like a few sperm samples were that invasive of a request. “How do you know?”

  “Because no one wants to be touched by me. Except Michael. He doesn’t know any different.”

  “Oh. It’s not you,” Hawk said, feeling bad that his internal conflict had been misinterpreted. “I just haven’t been through that kind of medical evaluation… in that way… I just need a shower.”

  If Hawk was getting the royal treatment of a patient, he couldn’t imagine the humiliation of being a test subject.

  “Leta, play messages,” Tommy said, addressing the bracelet.

  A pink light blinked, then Sky’s voice reverberated through his bones rather than his ears. “Hawk, there’s a place next to the monument park called Eastwind temple. We’re in apartment fourteen-twelve. Your bracelet will open the door. I’ve sent food, and I’m working on something else. So hopefully you get this message before you starve.”

  The message stopped, and Hawk rubbed his face. “Okay. Corin. Eastwind. Dinner. I guess now that your mom’s back you don’t have to watch Michael tonight. Do you usually eat with them?”

  Tommy shook his head.

  “Want to eat with me?”

  Tommy’s eyes misted and he nodded. Standing to his feet, he brushed the twigs off his clothes, then kept his arm pressed to his chest to hide the blood. With Tommy’s guidance, they reached the hospital. Hawk navigated his way to Corin’s assigned treatment room by memory. The way people still gawked at him, he didn’t feel comfortable asking for help.

  He was relieved to find Corin standing, arms stretched over his head, pale green tunic stretched over his body. His bones were visible through the tight, Cordovan clothes, accentuating how malnourished he’d become before he left home. Hawk hung back, watching him twist side-to-side. Corin tensed and slipped off one shoe, holding it like a club.

  “It’s me, bébé,” Hawk greeted, checking over his shoulder to make sure he was the danger Corin had sensed. Corin relaxed and slipped his shoe back on. He looked like he wanted to run over and hug Hawk, but they’d never been able to do that in their entire ten-day relationship. Love at first sight was confusing.

  “You look better,” Hawk said.

  “And you look… weary. My poor Douglas,” he said, a hint of concern in his eyes. When he said Hawk’s real name, a wave of comfort swept over Hawk. The distance between them closed, and before Hawk knew it, Corin’s lips were on his. They’d been wanting it since they met, and this was the first time Corin could do it without reservation or physical pain. It was nice, right up until their bodies touched. Hawk shivered and pulled back.

  “I really need a shower,” he murmured, the pins and needles taking over.

  “The place Sky found us has a bathtub, I hear,” Corin said, kissing him again, this time careful not to touch anything but Hawk’s lips. Hawk’s hands came up on their own, his body burning with need.

  “I’m glad you feel better,” he croaked, shuddering as he stepped back. He cleared his throat and gestured. “You remember Tommy?”

  Tommy appeared startled to hear his name, and he nearly dropped the tube of medicine he’d pulled from one of the drawers. A salve was slathered over his cut, rapidly healing the wound. He quickly pocketed the tube and wiped his palm on his thigh.

  “Um. No, I was pretty much blinded by pain from the time I climbed into the Bobsled until about an hour ago,” Corin said. He dipped his head in a regal bow fitting of a prince, and Hawk did the introductions.

  “I think I’ve been forgotten, but I’d like to tell Dr. Clarke I’m leaving,” Corin said, heading into the hall. He checked the comm bracelet on his wrist, then turned left. Hawk and Tommy followed.

  “Are you supposed to get an erection when you see two people being affectionate?” Tommy whispered to Hawk.

  Hawk laughed and Tommy cringed.

  “Oh, you’re seriously asking,” Hawk said. The night before, he’d fielded a lot of questions from Tommy about the differences between men and women, but they’d steered clear of sex, pregnancy, and anything to do with genitals. Hawk pursed his lips, thinking wistfully about all the awkward talks his father had given him growing up to prepare him for Geneculture and breeding. Rocan was filled with men. Hawk was still learning how to be around women, and more than once Danny or Tray had pulled him aside to explain how things were different in a city where women weren’t endangered. Tommy was the opposite—surrounded by women, trapped in a body that didn’t match their experiences.

  “It happens,” Hawk allowed. The feeling that he desperately needed a shower came back full force. “We didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  15

  It took just over a week for Ian to get the baseline she needed to treat Amanda. The process was excruciating and by the end, Amanda’s brain map was so thoroughly mapped that Danny now got alerts on his Virp telling him not only when she was having a hallucination, but which one she might be seeing. When Dan
ny realized the scientists were triggering her on purpose, he started sitting in the hall outside the control room. He covered his ears so he wouldn’t have to listen, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave her.

  She was doing better, but Danny wasn’t. The overnight medication they’d given Amanda seemed to have invigorated her, but the week of stress had taken a toll on Danny. He laid on the wide, teal couch that was two feet too short for him to stretch out on. His Virp lay on his chest, and his Feather was hooked over his ear. Ian had brought in someone named Garcia to tune his Virp so that he could talk to Oriana. The channel opened twice a day—once in the morning, and once in the evening—and Danny relied on those moments to connect with his crew.

  “Of course they’re going to discontinue her meds,” Morrigan said, exasperated. “If this works, she won’t even need meds.”

  “I don’t know if I can keep doing this to her,” Danny said, staring at the paintings on the ceiling. The art was so similar to the temples in Quin, that there was no question they’d been seeded by the same religion… or perhaps the same experience with human-spirit half-breeds centuries ago.

  “Why don’t I stab you in the face and see if that makes it easier?” Morrigan carped.

  “It’s not just her that I’m worried about,” Danny said, hugging his knees to his chest. Like everything in Cordova, the couch seemed to mold to his form, and cradled his body in a way to impart maximum comfort. But Danny needed a person, not a couch cushion.

  “Are you alone right now?” Morrigan asked, taking on her a gentle bedside manner. She’d picked up on his pain.

  “Corin’s here,” Danny said. “He keeps checking on me every five minutes. I think he’s worried. The doctors trigger Amanda, and that triggers me, you know.”

  “We could get you out of the city and Saskia could go in.”

  “Or you.” He’d feel better if a doctor he trusted were watching over Amanda.